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Loneliness isn't being alone.
Recently, through unexpected events in my life, I have been spending much more time in my own company.
After being a mother and wife for nearly 25 years, silence can be almost a sign to be on high alert in an anticipation for what will come next.
An argument that creates hurt feelings, the TV on full volume, a demand for a lift to some gathering or just the bickering of two siblings that have almost always struggled to create harmony.
That has all faded away and there is left a silence that I have never experienced.
There is no one left to debate with, sit with over dinner and laugh about the silly stuff and there is no companion to share my daily life with, a deep sense of loneliness washed over me when I realised that my life as a mum and wife was changing in the most uncomfortable way, and I would now have to sit in that uncomfortable space and exists in a new way.
Loneliness isn't about being alone, it's a deep sense of loss and untethered emotions.
Loneliness is heavy, almost too heavy to carry alone and yet that is exactly how you feel, alone, vulnerable and lacking in a safe space, with safe people to connect and share with.
Loneliness isn't just a mental state of mind, you feel it viscerally, this deep heaviness that can lead to depression, sleep issues and increases your stress levels.
It can also lead to increased risk of dementia, early death and an increased risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease.
Loneliness can be serious risk to our overall health and wellbeing.
Positive connections, creating opportunities to socialise and meet new people is key to keeping your physical and mentally health in good condition.
Exercise, collective art, singing in a choir, coffee mornings or a walk in nature all help you to connect and be seen.
Being alone has a different sort of feeling to loneliness, it can be restorative, healing and powerful to be in our own space, with little to distract us.
It can be well-deserved reflection time to unpick our day and integrate what has happened or what is about to happen.
In my case to reflect on the end of a relationship, my children leaving home and the new beginnings that would soon be upon me.
Heavy stuff but all very possible with a good support network and appreciation for the power of silence while rooted in love and connection.
Today I laid in silence for an hour at a gong bath while the sounds of gongs and drums washed over me.
I lay silent surrounded by many but alone in my thoughts and in my emotions.
The sun gently caressing my face and the wind blowing softly helped to ground me and remind me to be grateful for all that I have.
I hope will come my way when I can let go and accept that being alone is nourishing and restorative and part of my healing journey.
Scroll down for some links that you may find useful.
What you don't heal you pass on.
Be well,
Justine
We have some free therapy colouring sheets to help you relax and enjoy some creativity.
Just download them and print them at home or school.